Biography:
David Anderson was a seemingly mild-mannered Advertising Exec who lost it all. He got fired from his job, his wife left him, and he went broke. He was going to put a gun in his mouth when an idea struck him. Why were there no pirates on the road?
He converted a beat-up old ice cream truck into a personal battleship on wheels and took to the streets as Captain Cadillac Jack! Robbing motorists at sword-point gave him a new purpose, it made him feel powerful, confident and brave. Before he knew it other people were signing the black book to drive under the banner of the Greasy Roger. So it was that the Street Pirates were born!
Cadillac Jack was eventually arrested and given a life sentence before escaping to space, but that’s another story. He did leave an enduring legacy and these days the most motley pirate crew is Captain Ironbeard’s. He has the meanest, nastiest, surliest swabbies in his bunch and their primary vehicle is the biggest and baddest of any on the roadways. The Battle Bus was previously the tour bus of the band Midnight Oblivion, but Captain Ironbeard boarded them from his Corsair muscle car and made them walk the plank doing 90 MPH. They grafted on spikes, added a proper plank, and strapped cannons to its sides. Now it’s the terror of the roads!
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Captain Ironbeard began as Blacktop. He was a solo buccaneer, driving his souped-up Corsair and robbing people at red lights. But his fate took a turn when Komodo caught him doing that. The lizard-man hybrid leapt onto Blacktop’s hood and a high-speed combat ensued, with the pirate trying to shake the member of the Vanguard off the hood. But Blacktop was way out of his league. Komodo smashed the windshield, dragged him out, and tossed him onto the freeway where his arm was skinned to the bone and broken in a dozen places. Then Komodo pounced and took off the badly beaten pirate’s lower jaw with one swipe of his claws.
That was the end of Blacktop and the birth of Captain Ironbeard. After a stint in the prison medical wing he was released and went to Doctor Necronomicon for help replacing his jaw and his mangled arm. A robotic arm with terrible strength and vicious claws, just like those that had maimed him. And instead of a jaw, Necronomicon grafted on an over-sized jagged maw. The Street Pirate laughed triumphantly at his brutal visage and dubbed himself “Ironbeard”!
His reputation grew quickly, and the baddest, most ruthless Street Pirates soon flocked to join his crew. A burly bruiser with superstrength left behind the identity of “Pump” to become “Big Rig”. The suave duelist, formerly “Mad Rapier” became “Spark Plug”, Captain Ironbeard’s first mate. The Black Flag was hoisted, and the streets were never safe again.